belated Christmas and a positive new year...

I've been quiet the last few weeks because I've felt like I  haven't been able to write. I had some negative things said to me after my last big post, and have had things I opened up about thrown back at me in an argument, and I started to question what's the point.
I realise though that kind of is the point. I'm being as bluntly and as brutally honest as I can and that's going to rub some people the wrong way, but because I genuinely believe in what I'm writing, I have to just accept, that putting yourself out there in a public forum,will result in a mixed-bag reaction.

Christmas was lovely, exactly as we planned. Shane had a whole week and a half off work, and decided not to go in for any over time like he normally does. Because we have no idea where we'll be or what situation we'll be in next year, we figured the best thing to do was to just spend some quality time together as a family. I can tell you it was much needed.

We stayed in the UK again this year, we don't normally go home for Christmas. It isn't that big a deal to my family, and it's way too stressful in Shane's.  So we stayed, and chilled out. Lots of food, drinks, days out and movies cuddled up on the sofa.

I continued to go to Slimming world, I think even that helped limit the damage to 9lbs, Two weeks off plan, eating and drinking anything and everything I wanted, I don't think that's too bad. Time to draw a line under it and get back on plan 100% it's the only way.

New Years Eve I did something to my back. I was pulling Fionn off Daithí and it just went, I dropped him on the sofa and fell to the floor. All these stores you read of heroic toddlers who call 999 for their injured parents, yeah Fionn is not ever going to be one of those kids. I couldn't get to my phone, so just had to wait till Shane came home, and took me to out of hours. The lovely cocktail of drugs prescribed to me, drastically reduced when I told the doctor I was breastfeeding. So after congratulating me for still going strong at 10 months, she reduced my dose of everything and sent me on my way.

I had a suspicion I had Diastasis Recti, meaning a separation of the abdominal muscles, a condition common in pregnancy, particularly so with transverse babies. This was confirmed for me, and she presumed that my back has been over compensating as a result of total lack of strength in my core. There's little I can do, but I have spoken to a post-pregnancy personal trainer, so hopefully I'll have a plan of action soon

I digress, the New Year has me feeling positive and excited for the year ahead. I've made four resolutions to myself, and writing more, ignoring the criticism that comes with it is one of them. So with any luck you'll all be hearing more from me in the coming months.
*sorry for lack of pictures, I am anxious to get this first one out of the way to I can get back to writing properly*

S x

There's more important things in life than nails, but they're a good place to start.

Everyone who knows me, knows I am nail #obsessed and have been since I was a child. I used to always have them painted beautiful colours.

Then I had kids, and they fell right to the bottom of my list of priorities. But any chance I got, I'd have a Shillac manicure and hope it would last 6 weeks, until I could find the time/money to have them done again, 6 weeks would turn into 3 months, and you get the picture. Finding time with kids is hard.

So I bit the bullet and started painting them myself again. About two months ago, on Instagram I swore blind I was never going to bother doing my own nails again, after they chipped only a few hours later. Well today I am eating my words!!

Depend Very Berry & Jamberry Granada and TikiHut

I've found two amazing new brands that I have a feeling will be featuring in a lot of my IG posts in the future.

Depend and Jamberry

I skeptically bought a starter pack and some colours of Depend 7 Day. Half expecting to use it once, it not to work, and for it to be banished to my nail box, never to be used again. I was wrong.

That same week, I was also sent some samples of Jamberry Nail Wraps to try. Again I was skeptical. I had never used wraps before, and always felt like they were a bit cheep and childish. Again, I was wrong!

Both brands insist on correct nail prep for best results, this is the step I always manage myself at home; cleanse, scrub, buff, cuticles, etc. etc.but I never manage to get any further. So I had to make a conscious effort this time to not open the bottle of wine and to do my nails instead. 

I figured the best way to see which was best was to pin them against each other, and see which lasted longest. I was seriously impressed. Even with my dishwasher breaking and having to actually wash dishes (how very 1950's) as well as the usual, bathing kids, doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms etc. etc. neither budged for 10 days. At which stage I was bored and wanted to change colours anyway.

Depend 7Day
Healing Trees & Nature's Lullaby

Depend has basic 4 steps, Cleanse, Base, Colour and Top. Fairly straightforward. The bristles
 of the brushes are very cleverly designed to spread and cover your nail in one neat sweep, so even doing my wrong hand was easy. Each layer only took 2/3 minutes to dry and the final look was flawless.






Jamberry is a little bit more complicated. You cut the wrap roughly to size, peel it back with an orange stick, heat with a hairdryer/ heater for a few seconds then apply it to your nail and file down. It sounds complicated, but after the first application I got the hang of it. The upside of the wraps is you get beautifully delicate designs, so even if you're completely anti-ambidextrous like my self, both hands still look fab.



I've also tried Jamberry on my toes, and my god they LAST!! You'll have to take my word for it as I may be banned from the internet if I shared pictures of my feet,

Both will set you back about £30/€30 to get yourself started, but (and sorry about this) I challenge anyone to stop there. The colours and pattern combinations are endless. It has become a Monday night ritual of mine, I get the kids to sleep and sit down for some me time. I may not have slept in 3 years, or had my hair done in 2, but when I have my nails done, I feel like I have my shit together.

Jamberry are available here
Depend 7Day is available here

S x

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

My Christmas Canvases. All the paintings in the house, are
replaced by festive ones for December

Christmas happened in our house last week. Gone are the days of a beautifully decorated tree, with immaculately wrapped presents (I have been know to add sleigh bells and bows) stacked up underneath, with candles and flowers perched on every surface. Now I've found a corner, used only decorations that wont fit in Daithi's mouth, and packed all breakables away, 'till next year at least.

Yes, that is Henry the Hover under the tree.
He doesn't fit anywhere else.

I first met Shane in July 2012, by that Christmas we were living together in a tiny, dreary, one bed, basement flat in Rathmines. This is where our first annual 'Real v Artificial Christmas Tree' argument took place. I informed him, that he is never, ever going to win this particular argument so should just save our time and his energy and give up. 

Our First Christmas in England
(not pregnant!)

You'd think, as we approach our 8th Christmas together he'd have learned. But no,  two different countries, four different houses and eight different arguments. We had our Christmas tree fight early this year. And I won. As I do every year. So last week we got this years, a real one, in a pot, ready to be plated in the garden next to the last 3 we've had since buying this house. 

The first Christmas in our little house I was very, VERY pregnant on Fionn. So much so I ate, what I could of my dinner, while balancing on a birth ball. Our house is tiny, so the glorious 9ft tree I wanted was never going to happen. So we agreed (Shane never agreed) compromised, on a cute little 4ft tree, still in pot, perched on an IKEA Lack table. We planted it in the garden the day Fionn was due, and so a new family tradition was born. We planted a tree on Fionn's first Christmas, and another while I was very pregnant on Daithí. I make a horrible habit of that. And we'll do the same this year. 

The Grinch and I may not have a traditional Christmas dinner. We have fajitas with all the trimmings. But I still insist on going a bit OTT with decorations, and I'll be dammed if I ever give up fighting for a real tree.

I'd love to hear other families quirky Christmas traditions. S x

Christmas 2015

Home-Made, Potty Training, IKEA
Advent Calendar

Dressing my Boys and Supporting Small Businesses

Ever since I found out Fionn was a boy, I was disappointed every time I walked into a clothes shop.

Not least because I worked in Monsoon Accessorize at the time, and they have the most adorable clothes for little girls, but are quite limited and repetitive for Boys. The same goes for Next and Asda and Tesco. Even H&M and Zara.

But I wasn't going to let that stop me. My friend introduced me to a lovely little online boutique, ran by Jas, a Momtrepreneur with three little people, and excellent taste in boys (and girls and unisex) clothes.

I can't wait till I can get Daithí
into these French BullDogs.
They remain one of my
favorite pieces to date.

At the time SewKuddley was relatively small with only a few hundred followers, but even in the time I've been shopping there it's grown massively. As has my obsession.

It started with a pair of leggings for Fionn. 'Won' on one of the market nights on Facebook. They're fun, and encourage me to spend WAY more money that I should/ Shane knows.

Then more leggings, and shorts, and jumpers were added to my collection. All packed safely away ready to be passed down when they got too small. It didn't even matter too much if I had a girl, quite a lot of SK stuff is unisex, and trends differently depending on how they're worn.



Once I found out I was pregnant again, I got to shop matching fabrics. Anchors, Feathers, and Fionn's favorite Panda Leggings. He will pull his and Daithí's from the laundry pile and insist they both wear them. Obviously I oblige, because they're so freaking cute!!

I may have got slightly carried away when Jas introduced Matching Mummy Leggings! I just couldn't resist. This time it was Candy Skulls for the three of us, I'm just raging I didn't get a matching head band for me too.

I regret NOTHING!!

As a mother working somewhat from home, I also enjoy supporting other small businesses. I've decided I'm going to get as many as my Christmas presents as possible, supporting small and local traders. 

Excuse me while I go place my next order.

P.S. enter 'OHBOY' at the checkout for a 10% Discount! x

My First Weigh In

I'm Sharon, 26 year old mother of 2

I'm 5 foot 10 inches tall and weigh 231 lbs

My BMI is 33

I am obese 

It's been 7 days since I joined Slimming World, on referral by my Health Visitor, and I'm just back from my first weigh in. 2 lbs lighter. It's a fraction of what I had hopped for walking out of my first meeting last week, but it's a baby step in the right direction.

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to food. Food is so entwined with my emotions that even thinking about it gives me serious anxiety. I have struggled with body confidence and self image for as long as I can remember. I have always over compensated with hair and heals and make-up, so most acquaintances would probably describe me as quite confident, but this is far from true.

I feel like a fraud and that I'm letting down the curvy team because I've always represented plus size girls. I've always put my 'I don't give a shit what you think' hat on and put myself out there. I've modelled, done TV work, even got to the final of Simply Be's model search a few years back.
But that was all a way for me to validate myself. If people thought I looked good the way I was maybe I could start to agree.

But my level of body dis-morphia goes much deeper than that. I was first diagnosed with Bulimia at 14 (I think It was so bloody long ago), and have been trying to control it ever since. There was no Eating Disorder services for children in Ireland at the time so I went to an adult councilor, who was great, but not exactly equipped to deal with a hormonal teenage girl. It helped, but it definitely didn't fix things. Not at day has gone by in the last 13 years when I haven't thought about starving myself or making myself sick. I have managed some days but not others.

Pregnancy was the worst. I lost my only sense of control. The feeling of involuntarily getting sick fucked with my head, added to an already huge body getting even bigger and all the crazy pregnancy hormones, there were days I made myself sick. But again, could not find the services for crazy women who carried bulimia through pregnancy, nor could I bring myself to admit it to anyone. I was a typical case of PND waiting to happen. I took the antidepressants, I told myself I was better, I had another baby. And that cycle is starting all over again.

I've lost weight before, with Weight Watchers. -30 lbs before I got married. -52 lbs after Fionn was born. But as soon as I take my head out of the game, it piles back on again. I sabotage myself. I tell myself I don't deserve it. I'll never by happy with my body, so why bother. I plan and cook and eat and exercise well all day, then eat an entire box of chocolates on my way to bed. It's disgusting, and I hate myself even more for doing it. I'm happy for, but also jealous of people who do well, dieting and working out. I feel I'm too far gone for that to ever be me.

But something's got to give.

So that brings me to where I am now. I'm talking about it. To you, to anyone, maybe to no one, but it's getting it off my chest. I'm starting this journey for my own health, but for my families as well. One of my biggest fears growing up was that I'd pass my eating disorder on to my children. Like it was hair or eye colour. But it's not. It's all in my head, and if I'm going to be the best mother I can be I need to deal with that shit now. I want my sons to grow up happy and confident, and never having to battle the negative thoughts I deal with every day.

I don't have any answers yet. I'm not even sure I know where to even start, but I'm going to try. I'm setting goals, building a support network and blogging. I don't even care if anyone reads it, but by putting it out there in writing, I'm accountable to more than just me. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to be confident in my body. I want to be fit, and healthy and happy.

My goal for next week in to be down another 2 lbs.
My goal for the 12 week referral period, that will bring us to Christmas is to be down 21 lbs
I don't know what my long term goal is, but I'll come to that later.

I have no advice to share, I'm not in a position to right now, but hopefully by this time next year I might.

Sx

Our first family holiday as four

This weekend, I agreed to something Sharon from 5 years ago would never have even considered!! A surf trip to Devon, with babies welcome. Some friends of friends were organising it, and were nice enough to invite us.
I didn't even run it past Shane before booking, I knew it would be right up his ally. It's me who is normally too anxious and uptight to jump out of my comfort zone like that. But this time, I just said Fuck it and went for it.

I packed the car up while Shane was in work, and as soon as he got home we hit the road. Destination Europa Park, Woolacombe. It was a good 4 hour drive, but took us 6 by the time we stopped and fed the kids.

We booked a budget 4 bed, and rocked up expecting the worst. What we got was a cute little log cabin, basic enough but with a TV, fridge and heater. The group also booked a super lodge, more expensive but totally worth it. Proper bathroom, living room and kitchen, and to top it all off, a hot tub on the deck.

Saturday was spent surfing. The beech was about a mile away, and probably could have walked it, but with two kids I didn't fancy the back, so we drove. We were able to rent wet suits and boards from a shop in the town, and despite it being fucking freezing, there was a good two hours spent in the water. Fionn had an absolute ball 'surfing' with Shane. He kind of just clung to the board, but even after a total wipe out he wanted to jump up and go again. The child has no fear. It terrifies me.



The beech itself was clean and well kept. It was split in two, with one side reserved for dogs. It was also well manned by life guards, something reassuring when you're there with children. Parking was reasonable enough too.


The park also had a little swimming pool we were able to take Fionn and Daithí into on Sunday. It was thankfully a much warmer swim than the previous day.




There was bar with a surprisingly varied offering and a restaurant serving an all you can eat breakfast and reasonably priced food all day. The staff were friendly, the park was so well maintained, the loos and showers were spotless. Everything about the place was actually great! They're welcoming to children and pets, what more can I say, we're already planning out next trip back.


4 person cabin - £101
Surfboard and wet-suit hire - £10
4 x Breakfasts - £30

Capturing a picture like this of my husband and son . . . Priceless!

How I made Bedtime work for us

So there has been a lot of talk on line lately about bed time. Bedtime is definitely up there in the top 5 things all mothers talk about, after coffee, wine, complaining about our husbands and coffee again.

At the risk of angering the bedtime gods and having it all go tits up for me after publishing this, I've decided to share our routine. It works pretty well for us, and it might actually help some other poor parents who are at their wits end.

Let me start by saying Fionn was a terrible sleeper. Like awful. He'd wake every 45-90 mins wanting to be fed, If I got 3 hours out of him I felt well rested. With Shane working three different shifts, we found it very hard to actually get into a routine. We were also refusing to accept the fact that kids were going to ruin our social life, so we took Fionn everywhere with us. Way later than his current bedtime. 

I went back to work when he was 7 months old, had a lot of trouble with the company, PND reared it's awful, ugly head, I stopped breastfeeding to go on anti depressants, and I came out of work again. This is when we decided that if I was going to feel like a human ever again I needed to sleep. 

So we made a plan.

Shane stated going to Fionn in the night.

From the time he was born I was the one to get up to him, I'd put him on the boob and he'd be back asleep within minutes, for another hour. He learned after about 3 days of Shane getting up to him that he wasn't getting fed so he stopped waking up. Why we hadn't done this sooner I'll never know. 

Then we introduced a bed time. 

It took us a while to find a time that suited us. But we learned that no matter what time he went down at, he woke up at 6am. So we settled on 6.30pm that gave us some quality time together in the evenings and gave him a full nights sleep. That in turn reduced the hours of daemon like monster he became the next day.

We made a routine.

As much as I hate them, kids love routines, and Fionn responded to it brilliantly.

Bath every night at 6.30pm, a cuddle and a bottle of milk in our bed, then we'd carry him to his cot, sing some songs and leave him. 

In the beginning he'd cry or whine, we'd leave him 5 minutes, go back up, sing again and leave. Some nights he'd cry again, we'd leave him 10 minutes and go back up, sing again and leave again. 

After a few weeks, the crying stopped and he'd fall asleep straight away. We'd never leave him cry if he got too upset, you can tell when the pitch of the cry changes. It was a gentle way to encourage him to self settle. 

This worked so fantastically for about a year, that I was worried moving him into a new room and a bed would disrupt him and we'd be back to square one. So we did it in stages. We moved the cot into the new room first. Then swapped it for his bunk beds a few weeks later. I am so happy to report that it hasn't affected him at all.

As he's getting older, and since Daithí's come along we're following his lead and adapting the routine to fit us as a family of 4.

We aren't as strict now. 

We tend to try start bed time at 6.30pm, but he can talk back now, and will try to reason with us to stay up later. After a day of negotiations with a toddler, sometimes we all need another episode of Sarah and Duck before bed.  

We don't do baths every night of the week anymore.
But normally manage 2-3 a week. It all depends on Shane's shift and if I'm by myself or not. The saga of washing his hair is also more than I can handle more than once a week.

He's dropped his bottles of milk.
So we climb into my bed and read some books. Fionn LOVES books. He'd sit there all night reading if I didn't put a cap on it. Then he climbs into his bed and we sing the same few lullabies. (I say lullabies, but they include Oasis and Boy Dylan!)

And that's the last I hear from him till morning. The wonderful thing, He wont get out of his bed without me there. I don't know if its that he doesn't realise he can get out of the bed by himself or he doesn't think he's aloud. Either way it's great!!

Now I'm not saying this will work for everyone, or even anyone, but it's what's worked for us. Feel free to share what you do, and ask me any questions.