The First Month

Daithí is one month old today. It's crazy how the first month of a babies life goes by so much quicker than the last month of pregnancy. On one hand I feel like he's been a part of the family forever, but on the other hand, it could have been two days ago that I was taking him home from the hospital. As exciting as it is to look at all the changes in Daithí over the last 4 weeks, it's just as important to recognise and acknowledge the changes in me too.

My MIL this week told me that the best mothers put themselves first, after all you cant look after your baby 100% if you're not well. I don't mean ignoring your kids so you can have a peaceful coffee and flick through Vogue, I mean making sure you're eating well, drinking plenty of water and resting, and if something doesn't feel right or you're unwell talk to your doctor/ midwife/ health visitor! Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, if this was one of my kids, what would I do. chances are you'd have sought advice much sooner.

What has me thinking about all this? Well I think it's somewhat frustrating, that for the 10 months of pregnancy there is more information and advice than one could possibly need covering every eventuality that could arise from pregnancy and labor, then as soon as the baby is born, that information overload shifts to the baby, from rashes to colour of poop. But there is very little information in comparison, relating to how Mammy is doing after the birth; uterus contractions, hemorrhoids, PND, body image issues, all subjects that seem to be skimmed over briefly, before getting back to the more important and frankly cuter topic of the new born.

Well I've struggled with all of the above between my two 'after pregnancies', and found it difficult and embarrassing to talk about and get help. This time round I feel wiped out, both physically and emotionally. Granted a certain level of physical exhaustion is to be expected with a two year old and a new baby, but something I didn't know, was that my body was trying to tell me something. I was worried my bleeding hadn't slowed down as quickly as I (and the midwives) would have liked, but it was because my body was sending me warning signs to STOP! That's right, my body was telling me to chillax, sit down and put my feet up.
Hard to do with a toddler I know, but I had to heed it. I was trying to get out and about by myself with both boys everyday at two weeks, because I felt like I had to, and I was failing if I didn't. As soon as I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be so active, and accepted the fact I had just done something incredibly draining on my body only a few weeks previous, I started looking at my needs a little more, and have felt much better physically for it. It has meant Fionn has become best friends with the CBeebies presenters, more than I would like to admit, but hands up what mother hasn't relied on a bit of TV every so often, I know it's not ideal, but it's not forever just until I get to a place where I have recovered from birth sufficiently and have built back up my  energy resources to return to being SuperMam*

*I kid, I'm no where near SuperMam, more like OkishMam

I've found some great advice and had some lovely 'me time' reading Minding Mum, by Alison Canavan (no relation!), I received it as a gift from a close family friend, and think it would make an especially lovely gift for a first time Mam.