Feeling Homesick

Apologies for my uncharacteristic silence over the last two weeks. I was back home in Ireland, showing Daithí off to all our of our families and friends, and enjoying having babysitters (ie. Grandparents and Aunties) fall over themselves to take Fionn off our hands for days and nights. Naturally, we got pissed!

It had been six months since I was last in Dublin, the longest I have gone since moving here, and my god had I missed it.

That is actually Dublin
in the Background

We decided to drive, because a baby and a toddler require so much stuff, and because now that Fionn is over 2, we have to pay full cost for a flight, so the boat actually worked out cheaper. It was a long bloody day though. The plan was to leave as soon as Fionn woke up, and drive until Daithí needed feeding. Typically it was a day Fionn woke at 6am, and Daithí didn't seem interested in boob at all. So we hit the road, and got as far as Cheshire Oaks (115 miles away) by 9.15am, unfortunately it being a Sunday, nothing was open till 10am. For once in my life I was early!

We made it to the boat in plenty of time, then came the 4 hour crossing. Shane ran around after Fionn,  (It tuckered them both out) I sat with Daithí, until we began to dock and we just had to go up on deck.

I don't know why, but I got stupidly emotional. I was bringing my family home. My home. Not theirs. They're British born citizens, Nuneaton is the only home they've known and that breaks my heart. It stirs all the longing to move back, and bubbles to the surface the confusion I feel when I think of 'home', where I grew up and where my kids will grow up.

All this has been magnified as of late because of the xenophobic and hate filled, fear mongering excuse for politics that is the 'Brit-ex' campaign. I don't feel welcome where I have made my family home, and I want to go home home.

But the ramifications of that is a conversation for next week, when we know how the nation has voted. For the record I will be exercising my right to vote, a privilege not afforded to all EU immigrants, living lives, raising families, and contributing to society here. I will be Voting to remain.

As well as getting to show off the newest member of the Canavan Clan, getting to watch the football in Ireland was a nice added bonus, despite the score, and the dreadfully boring defensive first half of the Belgium game, just being in Gibney's of Malahide, and having a laugh with other Irish people was so refreshing. Whether at home, or over in France, we really are the best fans in the world. Shane was happy for the proper pint of Guinness too.

If the two weeks in Ireland has done anything, it has re-light my desire to move back. It may be more heart over head, but I really think it's started the wheels turning.

Fionn and Faith
Best of Friends

I miss people watching in cafes in Dublin City Centre, I miss the customer service in shops in Dundrum, I miss bumping into people I know and standing and chatting for ages. I miss saying 'Hello' or 'Good Morning' to everyone you pass on the street. Although I didn't know it before I left, I miss parents having the chats in playgrounds. I feel I'm depriving Fionn and Daithí from a childhood of playing with their cousins and going on days out and trips with their extended family.

Even the North Side felt like home!

 I am not disillusioned however, I know Ireland has it's problems. Homelessness is worse than I remember it, one walk through town was enough to remind me. The housing market is beyond ridiculous. There have been less houses built in Dublin in the last year, than any year since the 60s. This lack of supply is keeping prices artificially high, I know if we were to sell our house here, it would just about be enough for a deposit for a house there. The HSE is also a farce compared to the NHS; womens' reproductive rights haven't moved on from the stone ages. And the education system is still in the choke-hold of the catholic church.
But...But people are sound, and talk to each-other, and the craic is mighty.
And the sausages are great.
And my Mammy is there.

GranJan, Aunty Sarah, Aunty Shell and Mamam