Monday, 20 March 2017

Some Blokes are just Dicks

I was going to wait for my rage to subside a bit before writing this, but if anything I've just over thought the situation and got more angry, so maybe writing through it will help.

I was hit on yesterday in the park, while there by myself with the two kids.

Some random bloke with his two sons decided to cat call me across the path, and say something along the lines of 'you've got a cracking body love', my resting bitch face turned instantly to a death stare and I kept walking, following Fionn to where he wanted to play.

He followed me along the path, and although didn't get angry, was clearly annoyed at my lack of appreciation for his remarks. 'Are you not going to say thank you? I just paid you a compliment?', I made it clear I wasn't interested and continued to engage with Fionn and Daithí, but he didn't stop.

'Why are you in the park then by yourself if you're married?', 'you could just be nice and come chat to me'. I was annoyed at myself for even saying it, but it's like men will sooner respect another guy and not infringe on their territory, than take a woman's rejection as reason enough to not keep pursuing.

In a bar or a club, I think I would have been more assertive, and probably told him to Fuck Off, partially because I've probably come to expect that sort of behavior in those kind of places, but not wanting to upset the kids I remained polite. Why are we so conditioned to not cause a scene, to not offend, to brush off that sort of behavior as OK. The two young boys he was with are going to grow up thinking that's an appropriate way of talking to someone.  Is it Fuck.

Uninvited comments on a strangers appearance are not compliments, they are harassment. I'm definitely not going to thank you for deeming my appearance acceptable enough for you to pass unsolicited comments on it.

Continuing to engage someone who quite clearly isn't interested isn't going to get you a date. It's intimidating. It's especially intimidating when you're there by yourself, in a bloody park, trying to keep up with two toddlers.

He eventually did walk off, and I could see him hassling another woman there by herself with her two daughters. She made a bee line for the playground where she met her mother and husband. We left fairly quickly after that, I fell in step with them as they returned to the car park, I didn't want to walk past the man again by myself.

I was annoyed with myself for letting a dickhead ruin Fionn's time in the park, I should have stayed and let him play until he wanted to go, but I was shook and just wanted to get home.

It's not going to stop me going back to that park, but it has left me with a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, and I will definitely have my guard up a bit more.

We got a coffee after, coffee always helps.