I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my stomach this week, I just can fill it up. It could be the pregnancy, not getting sick is so alien to me, so I don't know if this hunger is normal or not. Bump is starting to twinge though, so it could be him.
|Breakfast No.2 of the Day|
It could also be the breastfeeding, Daithí's teething so I've been up all night feeding him, more than I've been feeding him in a long time. So sleep is a rarity for me. I think the reason I don't sleep well anyway when Shane is on nights, is I get serious isolation anxiety, being in the house by myself over night with the kids. It feels like far too much responsibility.
I had a bit of a wobble this week, emotions got the better of me and I had been eating my feelings. Slimming World came to the rescue yet again though, I had walked into the meeting late, I wasn't gong to stay, I wasn't feeling it. Somehow I managed to lose 3 lbs so I stayed and I am so glad I did. We had a very emotionally positive and inspiring group, which has given me the motivation to really tackle this week head on. I need to take this week one meal at a time.
I realised that despite how helpless, and tired and utterly unmotivated I've been feeling, I have actually achieved a great deal in the last few months, and am doing quite a lot for myself.
I had pilled on the weight with Fionn, lost it, then pilled it on again after Daithí. I was using that as an excuse to do nothing. I was lacking any sort of confidence or motivation, and had kinda accepted that that's just what happens when you have kids.
|A few years ago, I'd have NEVER put a wet-suit on in font of anyone.|
Let alone share a picture of it on the internet!!
But after being refereed to Slimming World and the gym by my health visitor, I've been feeling so much better in myself. and I've started saying yes to everything. Things I'd never had dreamed I would do. The Wolf Run, Surfing, and The Kerry Challenge next month.
|Group activities normally give me serious anxiety, |
especially where physical fitness is involved.
I'm not saying I feel great, far from it, honestly I'm a wreak atm, I'm really struggling with this pregnancy. I haven't gotten excited, I haven't even really been acknowledging it. Shane hasn't been either, and I think that's contributing to how shitty I'm feeling.
There's also so much with selling the house and buying a new one, that's not exactly stressful, but mentally exhausting and emotionally draining. I'm trying to not let it get the better of me, and am just focusing on our trip home next week, and the few days away from the kids, hiking in the Kerry mountains. I think the break will do my mental health the world of good.
The Kerry Challenge, is a 75km hike, over 3 days in the Kerry mountains, in aid if dEBra.
The charity helps and supports families of children and adults living with Epidermolysis Bullosa.
EB is a genetic skin disorder that causes the skin to blister and tear at the slightest touch.
Our GoFundMe page can be found here.
For more information about EB click here.